Why I'm Breaking Up With My BFF

So I have this relationship that has become a problem. I have to give this particular relationship constant attention. It's gotten to the point that I am overly consumed with the communication, drama, feedback, and hang out time. It's taken up SO much of my life, in fact, that my six year old daughter told me I needed a new best friend. So, I'm breaking up with my iPhone...

The Breaking Point...
I ignored the comments from my husband and kids for awhile. Surely I wasn't "on my phone" as much as they implied - or blatantly told me on several occasions. After all, I wasn't just surfing the internet or browsing the Facebook feed. I run a music studio. I have to check emails and respond. I manage a summer volunteer program for Charleston. I have to check those emails, too, and respond. Then there's my personal email that I have to check and also give a response. And my goodness - you can't forget about my YouVersion Bible alerts, Groupon pop-ups, calendar reminders, Planning Center invitations, Instagram pictures, weather alerts, and all of the other bits of communication I have to keep up with! Surely, I'm not just "on my phone."

Yes, I ignored those comments. But once again, my sweet six year old daughter got my attention. She called me to her room to play. She dressed herself up as a queen, made a throne of pillows, and announced that I may enter her castle so long as I read the sign on her door. In case you can't make out the picture, it is a drawing of a cell phone with a line through it and the word "no" underneath. Loud and clear to me. But still, wasn't enough to bring any real changes.

What's Worse...
As much as this affects my family, I have created an even bigger barrier. My personal relationship with someone who I claim to have Lordship over my life - my personal Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. There has been a distance that has grown wider and farther apart due to my time being devoted to something else. The Holy Spirit has always convicted me pretty strongly either through songs or through a random word that will NOT get out of my mind. Lately, I have been hearing (and ignoring) that word. Distraction. I have no idea why that is hard for me to admit and own up to. But I'll say it again - DISTRACTION. God has not separated Himself from me. He hasn't left me. He hasn't decided that I should go through certain periods with him and other times without him. It is me who has turned from Him and toward something else. It wasn't until my daughter's comment about me needing a new best friend that I realized the connection between hearing "Distraction" and seeing what exactly was distracting me. I realized at that moment I had turned an awesome piece of technology meant to "make my life easier" into an idol that I was worshipping. Yes, that was hard to write. Then came the song that made it all so clear to me:



"Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol
Anything that I give all my love is an idol"

I mean, at this point, I've got Jimmy Needham and the Holy Spirit telling me the same thing. Sometimes we think about worship as the 20-minute set list our Worship Leaders have selected for us every Sunday. Or, closer to home for worship band members, the small amount of time we spend "rehearsing" that set on our own. Ok, how about our personal devotion times, or prayer lists, or church small groups. Isn't that worship? Anything I put before my God is an idol. Anything I want with all my heart is an idol. Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol. Anything that I give all my love is an idol. So, even if I sing alongside my church family, even if I attend my weekly small group, even if I serve every day of my life or dedicate myself to prayer and fasting - if I have an idol then I cannot also worship God. 

The closing lyrics say, "We must not worship something that's not even worth it. Clear the stage, make some space for the one who deserves it." Scripture is loud and clear on the dangers of serving two gods so this one particular song is not my main resource for this revelation. In fact, even as I read scripture and its warnings in both the Old and New Testaments, I didn't relate those horrible "idol worshippers" to my own behaviors. These particular lyrics simply helped me put a face to that idol - and it wasn't the face of Jesus.

Clearing the Stage
This might be a messy breakup. Breakups are never easy. However, bad relationships need breaking up. So I'm going to "clear the stage" and "make some space" for the one who truly deserves it. I'm deleting my four email accounts (yes, FOUR), turning off all notifications and reminders (excuse me if I forget something in the near future), our family is going "digi-free" for July so we can rebuild stronger connections (so pray for our kids as they beg for their DS, Kindle, xbox, or other digi-items), and I'm taking Facebook off of my phone for a while until I can get my time management with the digital world under control. Let's face it. We can't escape technology or the convenience of it - especially when balancing businesses, raising a family, remaining in contact with far off loved ones, etc. But I have to start somewhere in "crushing the idol" in my life. Thanks for your prayers and accountability as I try a new thing and as I begin a nasty (but necessary) breakup with my former BFF.

Homeschool Science Stuff

Science snippets from the last few months... 
Some great moments, some failed experiments, but lots of fun learning and making memories.

OUR PLANET EARTH: 
Glaciers, Rocks, Caves, Erosion, Plate Tectonics, and more!

Iceberg, straight ahead!

Studying rocks
(yes, I made them pose for this picture)

Their interpretations of how our continents once looked as one large continent

Maddie's Pangaea

 

Sammy's Pangaea 

 VOLCANO!

All ready to see our volcano erupt!

Wait for it...Wait for it...!

fail...

 GEYSER!

Homemade "geysers" - they loved this!

 GRAND CANYON!

Grand Canyon (Maddie)

Grand Canyon (Sammy)

My growing 2nd grader

I've created a monster! We have to constantly learn new songs because he plays them over and over and over and over...

Some days we just need to wear a princess dress...

Homeschool Day #54

Every day we begin again. And every day we try something different than the day before. At day #54 I don't think we've had two days exactly alike. Some of you homeschool moms are already thinking, Isn't that the point? Flexibility. Room for learning outside of a rigid schedule. Those other moms who either teach full-time or who were once former teachers in a public school setting are probably shaking your heads right now thinking about how much structure I need. A better plan for the day, month, year. I agree with both of you. And I feel pressure from both sides. We are still trying to find what works for us: a new homeschool mom, a non-reading Kindergartener, and a too-smart-for-his-britches 2nd grader.  So, let me first say that I am open to advice from the more experienced!

So far I have found ONE schedule that works for us! I found it a week ago but we have only used it twice (remember, each day has been different for us). My goal is to use it daily. It came from the front of a Classical Conversations foundations book. She uses the timer method, which I've heard lots of people recommend but didn't really know what I was timing and for how long.

Basically, it's set up like this:

1st Hour
Math

2nd Hour
Grammar (ELA) & Review (this is where I review our weekly homeschool co-op material)

3rd Hour (split into three 20-minute segments)
Reading (split into Silent Reading (aka "Library time", Level Reading, and Instructional Reading)

4th Hour
Writing/Journalling (this is where I also get in their AWANA verses because they can copy them)

After Lunch, we can work on science, social studies, art, crafts, piano lessons, etc.

But here's WHY it works for us...Sammy gets started on his own so I am immediately freed up to teach Maddie who requires every bit of attention I have. As soon as either of them are done with their work in that subject (within that hour), they can leave the table! That means they are free to use the computer (there's some great learning sites and Sammy is used to this from his 1st grade classroom), the iPad (again, some great learning games), the math basket (random stuff like Hot Dots, Wrap-ups, shapes, etc), felt board, coloring, etc. But here's the best part: I GET TO LEAVE THE TABLE! I thought for the 50-something days that I couldn't leave the table until school was over. That meant that dishes were not getting done, dinner was not getting thawed out, bills were not getting paid, clothes were not getting washed, emails were going unanswered (you'd be surprised how many emails Matt and I both get on a daily basis!)...So, even if I get 20 minutes every hour that comes to an extra hour or so that I get to finish my daily to-do list! I also thought that it would be bad practice to let the kids leave the table but this has also been better for them. These short breaks are definitely helping with their moods and keeping them interested in our school day. So this is what we will try. I mean, I just used my 20 free minutes during reading to write this so I'm liking the freedom of my day a bit more.

That's all for now. That's how it's going. Homeschool changes...a lot. But we ARE learning. Maddie is beginning to read. They both love the library. We are all learning patience daily. We are currently enjoying learning about animals, fables, apples, and pumpkins. Maddie chose to learn about sharks, snakes, hippos, giraffes, and, of course, kitties. Sammy chose books on bats, emus, whales, eagles, dolphins, and poisonous animals. We have read some very strange stories/fables but I love that they love them. I'm thankful to the constant encouragement from both home and public school teachers and principals alike. Ya'll have been so great to me!

September Homeschool Stuff

Here's a few pictures of some activities we've done in the last few weeks...

Our science experiment - Solar Energy. What color should solar collectors be painted? Which color absorbs the most heat? So, we tested the colors: white, green, and black. They each got an ice cube and the same amount of sun exposure and we timed the amount of minutes it took for each piece of ice to melt. Make your guesses and then scroll down to see what we found out...

Green sort of took off!

The black paper made the water puddle up under the ice but it didn't really spread.

The green is taking over the white!

Finally the black puddle starts to move out

Black was the last to melt. Green was soaked and the white took it's time.

Only minutes apart!

 Falltime in SC?! That means porch-school!

We got to enjoy a "fall" day in SC yesterday. We started our morning with our devotional on the porch. Maddie said it was the best homeschool day ever. Guess we need to get away from the dining room table every now and then!

Here's our homeschool mess. It makes perfect sense to me and the kids are used to it now! Baskets are wonderful. And we're finally into a good routine. We cut out a lot of the busy work (projects, etc) but I actually feel like we're doing too much work and not enough play. I'm gonna work on that. 

Fun with pattern blocks and teddy bear counters

Sammy enjoys math and LOATHES language arts. Maddie is learning to read. We struggle a lot in this area so I'm learning patience and seeing a need to help build her confidence. She gets discouraged very easily. Sammy really enjoys reading the Bible. He's in Genesis and really enjoys the history and stories as he learns about each new person, weird name, city-he-can't-pronounce, and the awesomeness of God. Maybe he'll be my history buff, because it's not my favorite subject! 

Maddie's pictograph - family members

I think it's easy to get into a "homeschool rut" because we do the same thing each day. Right now I'm still a newbie so haven't really branched out yet in my creativity. I tend to stick to the schedule and outline of their curriculum. Thankfully I have many years to grow in this area! Thanks for all of the encouragement. We are all very thankful for the opportunity to have one-on-one learning time and lots of great memories. :)

Our First Field Trip - The Library

The books we chose for our Universe study this week.

Today we entered our 3rd week of homeschool and decided to take our first field trip to the Dorchester County Library! I'm embarrassed to say it has been 4 years since I have been to that library. How do I know it's been that long? I know because as I checked with the librarian to see if I already had a library card on file she told me that I did...and that it had a $15 fine on it from 2009! Appalled that she would think I could ever accrue such fines and then leave them unpaid, I questioned what items would have that sort of a fee attached. She read the titles of the DVD's I checked out in 2009: Showboat, Hello, Dolly, and Man of La Mancha. Really? I guess it couldn't been worse. I paid my fine and ended up with a brand new library card and a fresh start at this facility. The kids got cards, too. 

So, next, like any new homeschool teacher, I just HAD to make this trip more complicated than it needed to be. It has to be a field trip. I need an agenda. I need to document. So I had the genius idea of asking the receptionist if we could have a tour. The kids paid no attention to the nice librarian who was explaining their set up and systems. They zeroed in on the two tiny computers in the far corner of the room and it was all over. I have to say that the tour was mainly for me anyway. I learned a lot. Overall, we all enjoyed the library. The check out system is a lot cooler than it used to be and I love that you can check out an unlimited amount of books and movies FOR FREE - other than the whole $15 fine thing. Field trip #1 - Success!

Sammy's Library Choices:

Star Wars Episode I

Star Wars Revenge of the Sith

Goodnight, Me

and a Ninjago DVD

Maddie's Library Choices:

The Princess Encyclopedia

The Broken Cat 

and The Reef DVD

DAY 2: A NEW MORNING

One of my favorite verses is Lamentations 3:23 which says, "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." All I have to say is, thank you, God! No matter what happened the day before, we are promised his mercies for a new day today and, even better, a new one tomorrow, too! 

I went to bed last night more prepared for this morning than I was the previous night. I actually read the lessons, set out my material, and prepared activities for the kids to complete during individual instruction time. But I still went to bed less excited than I was the night before. Day 1 was not a disaster but it didn't meet my expectations. Thankfully, the Lord's mercies were new this morning and so were the kids' because they showed up just as excited and ready to go as the day before.

View From the Teacher's Desk

I mixed things up completely today and asked the kids what they liked and disliked at the end of the day. I was surprised to hear their answers. They both agreed that they liked that everything (materials, assignments, etc) were "right there" next to them. They didn't like when I went searching for things the day before. What? You mean my kids like order? and organization? Wonder where they get that?! I think kids, in general, appreciate the adults around them being "in order" which is why I SO respect all the teachers out there with their awesome classroom management techniques and ideas. Ya'll are awesome because it is definitely a challenge to "entertain" more than one kid at a time! Ya'll are rock stars. I think homeschool teachers are rock stars, too, because they can teach their OWN kids - which is a whole other kind of challenge! We are slowly, but surely, creating our own unique "table management" and have cut down on some of the crazy moments where they both need my full attention or where one wants to sing and hum while the other needs Pandora radio or peace and quiet.

So, here are some things we did well today...

1. They get some TV time in the morning. I know this is silly but since we cut out TV and electronics during the school day it has really thrown off our routine. They aren't allowed to touch an iPhone, iPad, computer, DS, game console, or TV until 3:30 each day (then I'm begging them to go watch something!). BUT today I allowed them to watch an educational Netflix show (we cut cable) while they ate breakfast. So they could choose something like "Magic School Bus," or "Veggie Tales," or "Leapfrog," or something like that. And that's all they needed. A 20-minute show as soon as they got up was enough to wake them up, start the day off fun, and satisfy any desire for technology!
2. They get one "homework" assignment per day (that word seems strange to say now). Last night's homework was for them to show up at breakfast with a book. So, we started our morning by reading their books on the couch. These books all go onto a reading list or get written in my planner. I think they like having a "job" or "responsibility." It's also a bit of a "freedom" for them since I pick most of their activities and books now.
3.  We created a new schedule! It goes something like this:
• Breakfast/Netflix
• Homework Assignments (read their books, show-and-tell, or whatever it is)
• Math (Sammy) & Mystery Basket (Maddie)
• Reading/Writing (Maddie) & Mystery Basket (Sammy)
• Science
• Snack time/Quick free time (they get 10-15 minutes and I do a quick cleanup from the morning and refill my 4th cup of coffee)
• ELA (Sammy) & Unit Activity (Maddie)
• Unit Activity (Sammy) & Piano (Maddie)
• Piano (Sammy) & Make lunch (Mommy and Maddie)
• Lunch
• Nap time (Maddie) & Quiet Reading Time (Sammy)
• Free time/ Digi-play
4. I added in planning time during the school day so I wouldn't have to do it all at 9:00pm every night when I'm exhausted. Once we finish a subject, and while they're beginning their next assignment, I go ahead and read the next day's lesson and get my materials ready. Then I file the book away until tomorrow and am done with it. The planner already has my weekly plans written but as far as actually gathering the materials and supplies for science, etc, it's easier to do while my mind is on that subject.
5. Keeping random stuff. You know all those random Chic-fil-a kid projects you have a million of or those Highlights "hidden picture" calendars you find from two years ago in your junk pile or Dollar $tore activity books you pick up here and there. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back now for keeping them. The kids' Mystery Baskets today included one of the hidden picture calendars (sure, from March 2011) and a Color Wonders activity pad with markers. They both enjoyed the activity even though it was a little tough for Maddie and both activities were enough to fill the time. So keep all that random stuff. One day you'll need it and they'll think it's the coolest stuff ever.

I think that's it for today. The kids both expressed that they had a great day. I feel better because the flow was completely different with everything set out and ready and with backup activities planned. I know tomorrow may be a completely different story because we all wake up with completely different moods and expectations, but one thing is forever the same day to day: His mercies. Other versions say His compassions. I know I need them. Looking forward to that one constant as we start each morning.

Teacher's Pets

I Got Schooled...

Forget everything you know about Crystal McCall; she did not show up today for the first day of

homeschool. The girl who showed up today had no schedule, no written lesson plan, no procedures for classroom management, and no clue her kids would eat her alive for breakfast. She has more long-term and short-term planning spreadsheets than can be counted. She has lists of fun activities, Pinterest projects, lesson plan ideas, and advice from others. You'll find organized baskets of books by grade and age and subject. But did ANY of these things get incorporated into her first day of homeschool? Nope.

Mistake: No game plan. I don't know what happened. I got so excited to start school I didn't plan my first day! I kept thinking, "I'll have time!" and everyone kept saying, "You've got time!" but this girl ran out of time. I fumbled through each subject, reading the lesson for the first time as I read it to the kids. I prepped project pieces as the kids were trying to work on them. Yes, a few this is boring's were even uttered by my perfect, sweet Sammy! Maddie went to time out twice for talking back and being disobedient. I had NOTHING for the kids to do while I took turns teaching them individually. I wasn't prepared for "mommy," "ok, mom, check mine," "mommy, this isn't right," "mom," "mom, do you like this?," "mommy, how do you do this?," "mom," "mommy," "MOM," "Mooooommm!" I felt defeated in the first few hours.

Blessing: Then there was snack time. Oh, how I love snack time. The kids were SO excited to get a break (even though all they had done so far was color, listen to stories, write a few letters, and do a little math). By this point I already had a million ideas for what I'd do differently the next day. I started writing some of them down and took pics of them below to share. Again, these ideas came AFTER my first day of NOT doing them. I'm going to test them tomorrow.

Mistake: My attitude. The day started out great. It was like Christmas morning. They kids woke up, saw their special surprises, ate breakfast of their choice (a Publix donut and toaster strudel). We opened our school supplies, walked through our "get up" routine. I read them a few stories. We prayed. Sammy read us a chapter in Genesis. This was all in the first 20 minutes. Then, my attitude of excitement turned to fear as I realized how unprepared I was and I think they could smell the fear in me like wild animals. I made it through without crying by God's grace and the amount of coffee I drank. At the end of the day, I told them that I loved them and that they did really well and learned a lot. Sammy said, "then why doesn't it sound like you mean it?" Ouch. I really did mean it so I didn't know what he meant. He said I sounded like I was glad the day was over. Double ouch. Lesson learned for Mommy. Tomorrow may have to be our "do over" first day of school - at least for my attitude. Today may have actually been a good lesson for me - my enjoyment of this experience must outweigh my worry for planning and perfection.

Blessing: Stickers. Thanks to Pinterest, I picked up some mini composition notebooks and stickers and decided, again AFTER the day was over, to create a behavior sticker book. So I called the kids back over and we decorated their sticker books. About midway into our endeavor Maddie stands up, flings her book aside, and says, "Mommy. I have something for you!" and then she ran and jumped into my arms and said, "you're the best mommy ever! I love you." And then the whole day made sense to me. I got to be their mommy - all day.

ENJOY THE JOUNEY: I saw this sign in TJ Maxx. It really meant something to me, which is the only way I'd spend a whopping $16.99 in TJ Maxx! I know that one day I'll look back and I'm not going to remember a math lesson or science experiment or what was listed on a language arts worksheet. We're not homeschooling because I think I'm a better teacher than those already out there. I'm going to look back and know that I spent the most time influencing these guys as I could. I'm going to remember the journey and all of the special memories we had while enjoying this journey. So, that's our motto, reminder, accountability phrase, whatever you want to call it, for this homeschool year. We are going to enjoy the journey.

School in our PJ's. I could get used to this.

My "too-late-should-have-done-this-today" Ideas for Tomorrow:

A supply basket. Don't have one? Get one! Got tired of looking for these items as I needed them.

My BIGGEST area for needed improvement! Stuff for them to do! I made some "to do" sticks with activities the kids can do for either independent learning time, quiet time, or "leave mommy alone" time. :) Every day they will check their basket and whatever stick is inside, they will do. If it's "Journal," Sammy may either have a journal prompt, question to answer, or the choice to free write. If it's "Worksheet," there will be a folder with their name that holds a fun worksheet inside. Etc. Any ideas are humbly welcomed and appreciated! I'm excited to fill this basket each night for them for the next day!

Working harder every day at cleaning less, playing more and enjoying every opportunity. Special thanks to all of those teachers - both professional in the public school systems and those in the homeschool community for providing me with materials, advice, words of wisdom, prayer, and friendship as I start on this journey. Ya'll are a blessing!