Swallowing Pills (the longest blog ever)

Some Things You May Not Know...
Ok, so a few things you may not know about me...#1) I'm terrified of whales (don't get me started), #2) I refuse to fly in an airplane because I just know with all of my heart that THAT will be the plane to plummet straight into the ground, and #3) I can't swallow pills...

The Reason I Just Can't Do It...
So, when I was younger I stayed home sick from school. I was in my "sick bed" which is something my family does when you're not feeling well. It's basically putting a nice cold sheet over the couch and surrounding yourself with your favorite "feel good" snacks and drinks while you sit there and just be pitiful. So, I was sitting there (just being pitiful) and decided I would snack on some Sprees (do they still make Sprees?)...Anyway, guess what happened? I swallowed one by accident, it got lodged in my throat for several seconds, and then finally went down. I was home with my dad and told him what happened (I'm sure it was re-enacted for him way more dramatically than it really happened) and EVER since I have not been able to swallow a pill!

Life with Liquids...
So, imagine a life of no pills...Headache? (drink nasty medicine) Sore Throat? (drink nasty medicine) Stomach Ache? (drink nasty medicine) Post-Partum "Aches"? (drink nasty medicine) No fun...and it's all totally psychological but I just can't do it! The second I can feel any hint of a pill in my mouth, out it comes - down the kitchen sink drain or out the car window or wherever I may be attempting to be a hero. Over the years I found ways around this whole psychological issue I was having...like, I started HAVING to take pills with something carbonated (absolutely no water, it must have bubbles)...Then I started HAVING to have ice with it (to throw off the fact that I could tell there was a pill in my mouth)... Then I started HAVING to measure the pills because eventually I could get a small ibuprofin down so everything else had to be equal to or smaller than that one! I know - I'm a freak, right?

It Backfired on Me (literally)...
Here I was this morning, diagnosed with Walking Pneumonia, and preparing the nice young technician for the news that she was going to have to convert my antibiotic medication to liquid form when she left the room to "think about what medicine was the proper treatment for me" and for the first time, the non-pill-taking-thing backfired on me - literally! She brought back a needle and a bandaid...something else that terrifies me! Stubborn as I was, I wasn't about to say, "ok just give me the pills!" (mainly because she probably didn't have anything carbonated with ice!) So, I turned around, mumbled a few embarrassingly wimpy prayers, and took the shot like a woman...I came home this evening, picked up a 600 mg Mucinex and swallowed that sucker! (ok, yes with ice and a ginger ale) but still! I did it! Step 1 - moving up in pill size - a success!

I'm not really sure why I felt the need to share all of this - in fact, not many will read it because it's the length of a short novel (congrats if you made it this far)! But anyway, guess I wanted to share a weakness of mine in hopes that maybe if you have a silly weakness like this you'll know that it, too, can be overcome. :)