poor sick husbands

I will stop to help a dog. I will sooth a crying child. I will cry over a wounded bird. I pity the kids who are made fun of. I care about the hungry and needy. I generally love all people. BUT...for some reason, I do NOT like taking care of a sick husband. Now, please understand, I WANT to like taking care of him. I WANT to want to "baby" him and "mother" him and be the ultimate loving, caring wife. I even give myself pep talks throughout the day ("c'mon, Crystal, just ask him if he needs anything" or "try, Crystal, try to say something caring without seeming like you don't want to")...You think I'm joking. I am not. And, I know lots of other women out there with this sickness too! And they will all agree, they will take care of a sick baby, a sick toddler, a sick teenager, and a sick dog but cringe at the idea of taking care of their husbands.

WHY?!
Here's the only thing I can come up with...#1 - It shows their weakness - something about a man laying on the couch sniffling makes me immediately realize that our grass looks longer and the trash can looks fuller...#2 - It means there's an extra body I need to care for - for do-it-all-moms this comment is self-explanatory...and #3 - The 'ol "I don't get to rest when I'm sick so suck it up" thought that creeps in your mind as he "must" lay there resting.



Here's the REAL reason...
I, like everyone else, am a sinner. By nature I'm selfish. There's nothing inside me that is good. I cannot be the awesome, caring, loving, helpful wife that I want to be on my own. The great news, however, is that I'm not alone and that I CAN learn to have the qualities I desire to have as a wife (and the qualities I'm sure he's desiring that I have while he lays on the couch with no pity from me). I do this by trying to stay in the Word as much as possible. It's amazing how reading the Bible more often will keep you "in check" and it's great because who else is better to do so than the Father? I also do this by praying constantly ("Lord, please let me be nice, please don't let me throw his blanket at him hard, please don't let my face twitch when he asks me for his pillow...") and always trying to stay thankful (after all, my husband is one of my biggest blessings and it should be an honor to be able to care for him when he's sick).

[Colossians 4:2 "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."]

I'll end by saying that I believe some women are better care givers than others - those are the types of women who become nurses and full-time stay-at-home mothers and social workers and pediatricians and so on. But me...I'm just a wanna be. BUT...at least I wanna be...right? I'm trying, Matt McCall. I hope you feel better soon...love you, mean it!