F.A.I.L.

Just when I think I have this whole "mommy thing" figured out, one of my sweet darlings sends a jab my way. While going over Maddie's AWANA lesson, Sammy walks in and asks, "Mommy, do you wish you would have only had one child?" After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I immediately answered "of course not! I am so thankful for both of you. Why would you think that?" He replied, "well, sometimes I think you can't handle a lot of us." After this second blow, he quickly moved on to jumping on Maddie's bed so I decided to let the comment go - but, for anyone who truly knows me and my heart, I don't let these comments go. My #2 strength on the 5.0 Strength Finders assessment (after "Woo") is "Harmony" - so I naturally want to "fix" things - whether they are arguments or hurt feelings or misunderstandings. I don't like to let things go unresolved - thus, the harmony part of me. This was not over...

So, while tucking Sammy in to bed I figured it was time to approach the issue. (Maybe I wasn't ready to hear what he had to say, but I couldn't go on wondering what thoughts were running around in my son's head regarding his mommy). I told him that his comment upset me because I wanted him to know how much I cared for them both. He got very quiet, a little teary-eyed, and said, "Mommy, you tell me to 'hold on' a lot." [To catch you up, they just got home from their grandparents and both kids were going a mile a minute and trying to fill me in on their evening - all while I'm trying to talk with my mom and get their things in order - so yes, they heard "hold on" a lot from me this evening...]

Ok moms, we've all used this phrase before...
"Mom!" (hold on) "Mommy, I want..." (hold on) "Mom, can I have..." (hold on) "Mom, mom, mom, mom, ma, ma, mother, ma, mom" (what?!) "Hi" 
[sorry, couldn't resist using this "Family Guy" reference (and for the record I hate this show with a passion)]. 

Anyway, my point is, I spend so much time doing so many other things to try and be super mom and all the while a simple phrase like "hold on" makes my child think he's not wanted. Now, I will say that if I stopped and acknowledged my children EVERY time they said "mommy" I wouldn't be able to take two steps or carry on a two-word conversation. But I'm going to try harder at being more patient (this is a virtue I know I do NOT possess). 

I'm glad that Sammy can be honest with me. And I'm glad for forgiveness and daily mercy...from both my family and my Lord and Savior. Without these things I would already be a failure. I'm also glad that the Holy Spirit uses my sweet little boy to slap me upside the head every now and then. I'm definitely looking deeper at myself tonight - they're so worth every bit of effort I can put forth. That's all. Thought I'd share...

"Worthy of His Praise" - What's That About?

I thought long and hard about the title of my blog site and eventually ended up with "Worthy of His Praise." Obviously, the "His" part isn't referring to my son or husband or any other human man in my life. I'm referring to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I struggle daily, as I'm sure most women do, with what my purpose is in life - "Should I have a full-time, high-salaried job? Should I quit altogether and stay home? Why am I so exhausted all the time? Why do I never feel like I measure up compared to other wives and mothers? When will the laundry stop?!" But, I think an even better question is, "WHO am I doing all this for?"

So...over the past few months I've come to a realization - I'm not doing all of this for my kids or husband (although of course I strive to serve them daily); I'm not doing all of this to meet some expectation of a woman society has made up; I'm not even doing this to satisfy ME. I do it all for Him - Christ. Why? I have always been encouraged by what Paul wrote in Colossians: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Col. 3:23-24). This particular passage in context was written to address slaves who worked for an earthly master. But, as moms and wives, isn't that what we do? We are slaves to dirty dishes, laundry, bills, responsibilities at the office, homework, deadlines, and grocery lines. BUT, if we can just adjust our mindset and heart to doing these things "as working for the Lord" it not only makes it more satisfying and rewarding - but it pleases Him.

So, "Worthy of His Praise" is about the day-to-day journey of working and living for a greater purpose - living to be worthy of His praise...