1.16.2012
Ode to Walmart by Crystal
Oh Walmart...how I loathe thee
Oh Sam, what has your store become?
You have twenty-seven registers
Yet you only open one!
Your stores, oh so crowded
The aisles, a three-cart pile up
What is that liquid on the floor?
Please, someone, aisle four needs a clean-up!
The kids, how they whine
The babies, how they scream
Every mom that you pass
Looks very, very mean!
Every time I enter I'm welcomed by a greeter
"Welcome to Walmart," she says
But as I leave she changes demeanor
And I'm seen as a theif instead.
The people - they scare me
And parking - not a chance!
There's germs on my buggy
Is that person even wearing pants?!
But oh how you beat any other store's prices
Your stinking yellow smiley signs
You can't do coupon math like other stores
But your savings, no where else, can I find.
So I will visit you every week
Even though you know I won't like it
But sacrifices I must make
To have more dough end up in my pocket...
by Crystal McCall
1/16/2012
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About Me
- Crystal C. McCall
- I am a local Charlestonian, born and raised in good 'ol South Carolina. I have only been to other surrounding states within a days drive since I refuse to fly in an airplane - so let's see - that includes NC, GA, FL, and I think I may have crossed the border into VA at some point. I've been to the Bahamas 3 times (since you can get there by cruise ship) but one day I hope to visit Mexico. After my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the second love of my life is my high school sweetheart, Matt. We were married at ages 19 and 21 (I'm the younger one) and in the past 8 years have acquired two amazing kids - Sammy and Maddie. We have a fairly new member of the family, Casey, who is a black lab/shepherd/pit bull mix and is very lazy. We "McCall's" have a family motto: "McCall's never give up" (for some reason this has stuck with us all). We all have a passion for music and treasure our family time. Every moment is a gift...
Haaaaaaa! So true! But I can't go back! No one can make me buy groceries there again! I can't even function in there!
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